I don't remember the details of what she wore or how she prepared for the date. Maybe I was still at work and didn't observe that. But I do remember how the evening went in other ways. I was home alone with our baby and put the baby down for bed at 8:00 p.m. She had planned to be home by 10:00. At ten o'clock on the dot she called to tell me she would be late. She did not get home till after midnight. I was pissed off, worried, confused and at some level also aroused. That only confused me more. It's one thing to fantasize about this stuff and something entirely else to do it for real. I was pretty sure my young wife had just fucked one of her old lovers and I had "approved" her date. After she got home I basically gave her the cold shoulder, so she took a shower and got ready for bed. Once in bed, we talked (with the lights out). She claimed that she had not done "anything" and otherwise described their evening. It sounded fairly benign, but could I believe her? She's the kind of. Look at me. Look at me please. I'm not who you think I am. I'm not a victim. I don't want to be a victim. Live the rest of my life that way. So, please look at me. See who I am. I have a family and a child, and my husband loves me. He takes good care of me and has helped me build my business to be so successful. (As if I didn't know that already and that he was away for a week looking to set up a satellite location, on the other side of the country.) I'm a good person and I take care of people. I look out for them, others and do quite a bit of community service. You think I'm good looking, beautiful, you said, But I'm that way on the inside too.' 'What a fucking choice of words.' I taunted her. 'On the inside, like inside your cunt?'Page 15. She could see her sincerity and directness were not reaching me. Not getting through to the core of my humanity. And, of course, that was a big part of her misconception, and a bigger part of her serious problems to come. That she.
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